Full Circle

On some Mondays, I come in with high spirits, my invincibility cloak and a plan to conquer the world. More often than not, Xonifer or some half baked moron manages to destroy it. But considering it’s only 945 am and Xonifer is not in – it’s too early for him to have done anything. Yet, the spirits are dwindling…many plans to make and many variables that are having fun at my expense.

Over the weekend, half a dozen people asked me when I plan to get married! It may have something to do with the fact that we were around a friend who’s getting married in 7 months, or that I had gone a few thousand miles to meet the boy. It doesn’t help that the mom’s arriving in less than one month and this inevitable question will be asked. It’s not that she wants me to get married tomorrow, or this year – but more like she wants to know “when.” She comes up with many permutations and combinations of how it can happen “sooner” rather than later! Marry and then study, study a shorter course, live separated for sometime and then together (given that I’m bound to Singapore for a couple of more years), etc. I tell her I can’t because studying would be a top priority, which opens a whole new can of worms (as if this in itself wasn’t bad enough)

MBA? Finance? Economics? What to study? Whether to study in 2 years or 3 is no longer a question because just the mention of “extending” results in the parents flipping out! How to prepare? When to start? GMAT! CIMA! When to study! How to find more than 24 hours in a day!

Before I can even start to plan these, there is the new role. I am rotating to a new role, which is commonly known as Hell in the company. Grueling hours, immense pressure and the lack of life are the USP of this job – but I took it nonetheless because my current job was getting stale. The new role also means great exposure and limelight – which is both scary and motivating! HOWEVER – the new boss (TNB) has very matter of fact-ly told me that I’m gonna have no time for anything in this role. Xonifer, when saying goodbye before the holidays had also told me “To tell the boyfriend not to worry, you won’t have time to cheat on him in your new role.” Not sure what’s more disturbing – that I won’t have time or that I am apparently cheating on him currently! Anyhoo, I digress. Problem at hand is – how to study for these exams if I’ll “have no time” for the next 18 months. Cannot extend because of the flipping out of parents – and marriage – and…you see how everything’s connected.

So, how is one supposed to figure out all of these and conquer the darned world at the same time?

Dinner with my younger days

He said “Man, you really have changed – you’ve grown up so much.”

She laughed and said “Yes, I have become ruthlessly practical – I can be like a guy. It’s just convenient.”

London Bridge is Falling Down...

On my flight back from London, I wasn’t sure if I should cry because it was over, or if I should be happy – I was going “home.” This was the first major treat to self since I got a job – and has got to be the best holiday ever. Meeting the boy was better than expected – nothing had changed. It’s like resuming from paused – play. Yes, the city was cold and gray but it was a welcome change from the bright or rainy Singapore! What I loved about London was its imperfections and its history – the rickety Tube, the beautiful low rise buildings, the super expensive EVERYTHING, Thames, the tourist attractions, the not-so attractive places, the trains, the ales, the cold – everything! I clicked pictures like an Asian tourist and then gave up because the camera wasn’t enough. I tried to shut as much as I could in my eyes, to relive later.

I walked the streets, heard the carolers, held the warm chocolate, hugged the boy, learnt to read maps, and say Cheers, drank everyday (to stay warm, no DUH), and smiled till my jaws hurt. For the first 3-4 days, it seemed surreal – that a plan made over 10 seconds had materialized. I loved London, I can see myself there, living in and loving it, which is more that what I can say about Singapore.

But what I truly fell for was Oxford. It really was love at first sight, the mist, the paved roads, the old buildings and the numerous stories they told. It is the perfect place to get lost in and be inspired by. The gray steel and glass structures of my university inspired me enough to ditch my major at first instance – and the cathedrals and towers of this university-town made me re-think my plans and wonder what it’ll take to study there. I’m working on it already!

Then came the unexpected treat – a group of friends so warm and loving that you’d think we’ve known each other forever – except it was over a few hours. Giggles hosted me at her place and the next forty eight hours were a non stop party with amazing food, juvenile games and lots of warmth. It was enough to make this cynic shed her cloak and be loving again. On my way back, I bring back more than just souveniers and photographs – I bring back a dozen invites and the belief that yes people can be friendly with no hidden motives.

So old friends and new, they say. Next was the old friends – at Scotland, which I shall save for another post.

Yes, I may sound infatuated and I am raving on n on – but it’s one hell of an excuse to be smiling non-stop – don’t you think?

8 out of 10

It’s slightly late for a year end post I know, but I was laptop-less for the past 2 weeks! I love this time of the year – not because of the festivities but because I like the feeling of closing off a year and everything bad that happened with it – and start the new year with a lot of energy n determination. And no, I don’t lose it all within the first few days. 2007 wasn’t an exception year – since nothing life changing, ground-breaking or earth shattering happened. Well, almost.

Things with family went well – only one major fight, successful negotiations on the “future plans” front and 2 weeks of mom staying with me and me still staying sane! Work was same old, although the team was churned entirely with all new faces and me being the most senior – except for Xonifer. A steady relationship with the Boy, who then decided to pack up his bags and leave. Still steady, touch wood. Including a short stay with the family, ahem. (His, not mine!)

Travels were few – but memorable. I touched down at China, Hong Kong, Philippines, Thailand (many many times), Malaysia, Indonesia, England and Scotland. It’s a start I’d say!

More friends – most of them lovable *wink*. A great new gang in London who I love to bits, colleagues to friends, and girl friends!

Lessons learnt – not to trust all property agents, it could cost you a few grands. Lower expectations from the chosen few, it makes it easier to get along. Stay brutally frank with others - it helps both of you. Keep it superficial, sometimes.

Two 10 km runs – that challenge you to do the 21km next time, and make you believe that you can.

A new-found attraction towards married men, ahem. The less said – the better. Although what is with that?? Whatever happened to the young, single men?!?!

I’d give it an 8 on 10
(The boy leaving and the real estate agent lose 2 points)

With big plans to conquer the world, excel at my new role, travel more, be less mean and materialistic, get healthier, contribute, love lots – I start the new year, and wish the very best for everyone!

Happy Holidays!

After many unfinished, unpublished posts, I hope to write a completed one tonight.

I am going off in 3 days time and I can’t wait! I finally managed to get a parka, a few sweaters and gave away a significant portion of my paycheck to the retailers! And late x-mas shopping means not all the gifts are thoughtful! I am so excited about the trip – and also a wee bit guilty. I hate it every time my parents bring it up because they don’t know all the reasons why I am going. But hey, I just finished paying my student loan as of this Friday – and that’s a good enough to counter the guilt! Yes – it is done and over with. 4 years of undergraduate paid for in 18 months. On my own. It’s a darned good feeling – even though the heart sinks every time it sees the bank balance. So I am penniless but loan free!!!

Other than that, I have had not one, but two off-sites in the past month. That’s two 3-day holidays paid for by the dear company! Many games were played and much booze was consumed! and many men were *ahem* objectified! The men I work with were made to catwalk on the stage and “show us their stuff” – every one of them. And then the winner was chosen by the applause and hoots they got! It was borderline politically incorrect and very very funny! The last session was a 2 hour spa session before we headed back to Singapore – and the only thing better than a spa treatment is a free spa treatment! It’s on days like this that you love your employer! The timing for the two off sites was perfect because it puts one in the holiday mood – a prelude to the BIG vacation coming up! I expect it to be a good mix of sight seeing, cultural stuff, romance, shopping, reuniting with old friends, reuniting with loved colleagues who moved, road trip, drinking, and freezing!

The thoughtless x-mas shopping for the team includes a pair of shot glasses from Hard Rock Café from a previous trip – for the boss (yes, and he will love them. This boss thing is strange, yes.) A copy of “Memory Keeper’s Daughter” for the favorite team mate, two boring coffee mugs for people they would suit, and one set of aroma therapy candles. Apart from the coffee mugs, I think they’d be appreciated. Oh well – you can’t please ‘em all!

The other day it dawned upon me that it’s my parents 25th wedding anniversary in 6 months time! Need to plan a fancy-shmancy present for them and magically grow the $$ for it too! Any suggestions? For both the present and the $$ plan!

I believe...

So things did fall in place finally…

When were they not in place? – for a whole of 3 weeks when my visa for my “holiday” was pending at a high comm., who refused to return it or even tell me when I could have it back. N all this time I thought I had the right to my own passport! N this was sort of getting in the way of my fancy shmancy BKK trip for which I had been preparing for over a month. There were going to be global visitors in town and I had to “earn” my trip there by doing a project with a “WOW” factor! So imagine my frustration when on a Monday at 1pm, I am staring at my air ticket for a 230 pm flight and STILL NO PASSPORT.

But like I said, things did fall in place.

The passport came at 530 pm, and my dear admin managed to put me on the 830 pm flight that night! (note – I hadn’t packed or called my parents abt the trip)

So I got here – I did a wizbang presentation, WOW’d a whole lot of people, and had a pretty good week. I am typing this in the car on the way home for the weekend and I think we’ve moved about 100 meters in the past 15 minutes. But I’m still smiling. After all, it’s the traffic in this country that taught me how to be patient…to an extent.

It’s strange being limited to the hotel and the office in a city where you spent your restless teens constantly moving from one mall to another. It’s been 5 years since I “lived” here. Over time, the visits have became shorter and less frequent and limited to time spent at home. but unlike other friendships, Bangkok and I have stayed as strong as ever. It delights me every time with it’s newfound chaos and order, making sure the shine never dulls away.

I indulged in a spa treatment or foot reflexology every day for the past 4 days and convinced myself that I deserve pampering myself. Top that up with authentic thai food everyday – and I was one happy camper – even if it meant working crazy hours instead of going shopping! The boss’s treat to us – an excellent dinner at Mezzaluna followed by drinks at the gorgeous Sirocco! Somewhere between the kiwi sorbet and the carnaroli risotto cooked in champagne, I think I thanked god for this light at the end of the tunnel!

I will soon lose my zen if this traffic doesn’t clear up – I need to get home now…have a yum home-cooked meal, watch some TV, and not have to care about chores and errands, or emails and conference calls.

Inside your head

Why do things that seem so complex inside my head appear so trivial – once penned on paper.

n How was your weekend?? ;)

The weekend has officially ended – since I started typing this entry just as the clock struck 00:00. And it has been a heck of a weekend at that! Friday started off as any other Friday – you know the usual, dinner, movie, NO alcohol, and back home! Saturday tra la la was spent updating the resume – and then grocery shopping for the dinner I was going to cook with WJ (whack job) for our friends. Yes – I must have been drunk when I got the idea, but I did and I figured, hey, lets cook Thai food and invite everyone over. And WJ, sweetheart that she is, was equally excited about the idea and agreed to help! Train2, the other sweetheart came as we were short on hands! So the 3 of us clicked photos and chopped and washed and boiled and sautéed and out comes : mango salad, green curry, rice, coconut rice, fried noodles, tom yam soup, and tapioca dessert! And to top it off, Thampiman & Malluboy 3 brought fruit cocktail and ice cream for dessert! Mean brought le wine and Anshul brought me half of Candy Empire. (I’m not kidding – it’s in my fridge) All in all, tons of food, most of my favorite people and yum yum! I am amazed that people survived the meal – no one to my knowledge had to get their stomach pumped or go to the doc!

I stumbled in bed sometime after 1230 and I had to wake up at 615 am! Say what? Yes – because I had signed up for the Women’s 10km run and run, I did! With a not so great, but respectable time considering I haven’t trained much, and a cute red sports jersey, I was very pleased with myself. Then I spent an odd 6 hours at the office with a couple of my colleagues, working away! Yes, on a Sunday! Yes, its God’s day and I had to work! So 3 of us, the 3 youngest in the organization worked for a good part of the Sunday and continued to do so after reaching home!

So that was a weekend packed with activities: resume, travel bookings, 10km run, work, chores at home!

The post has no point, obviously, except that I wanted to capture the weekend and stash it away to re-read on days when morale lies in the dumps! Because I see such days coming up in the next 3-4 weeks! Sigh sigh! One thing at a time!

Oh, and I’m going to Bangkok on a business trip in 3 weeks time! Tra la la!

I just soaked my oh – so – sore feet in warm salt water and suddenly I can feel the fatigue from the weekend taking over every muscle of my body! Ouch and ouch! It’s finally time to call it a day – before I realize I’ve forgotten something I had to do!

This is a Non Post

So, it’s been decided. I’ll be spending this x-mas and new year’s freezing, making snow angels, drinking, and shopping with the boy, and then more drinking, trash talking, gossiping, and shopping with the best gf! If all goes well, I’ll be in London and then Glasgow (and maybe throw in Edinburgh) this X-mas! *fingers crossed*

Tickets have been sourced and I’ll give the genie a swipe this weekend! The parents have been pacified – they are not pleased at all. But they’re learning to live with it. I guess. I think I’ll throw in a surprise visit to parents to ease the guilt (not).

Phew. Am I glad that that’s out of the way!

Next! Studying has gone to the dogs. And I can’t get myself to study the regulatory bodies in the UK. Mergers. Acquisitions. Competition. Blah blah blah.

Last weekend was very low key and so I shall make up this weekend. Tomorrow is a night out with the friends at work, because J-Sq is in town! And we love him. My special affection towards him stems from the trip to manila where he drove me around in his sexy BMW n took me somewhere fancy! There would be good food and lots of booze and hopefully much dancing.

Saturday evening is booked for a birthday party at the beach! Fancy food, the beach and Ajay. Expectations are – being totally drunk, soaked, and indulging in silli-ness!

Tipsy’s having a house party at her place too and I’d hate to miss it! n I’d hate to miss the birthday party! And argh! Why oh why! Why does everything happen on the same night!

A friend from RIS is going to be in town for a week so there should be a mini – reunion coming up as well! Too much socializing!!

And I lost my chain of thought since I started watching West Wing in the middle and left this post hanging…

This is a non – post.

.Courtsy.Curtness.

It's not very difficult to get along with people. Most people. But it is getting increasingly difficult to like them.

A day. in . Bullets

Random insignificant events and thoughts that I feel like recalling because, well, for no reason other than this urge to write something, anything, to distract self from working.

- They made me the best Earl Gray at Spinneli today with the right amount of froth and sugar and I knocked it over my desk and spilled the ENTIRE cup of warm happiness on a crappy morning. Strangely, not a single drop on my clothes, laptop, phone and the entire menagerie that is my table.
- This person, let’s call him, Xonifer, is making my life miserable. Xonifer because, it sounds more fun than “Person X.” I wish Xonifer is abducted by aliens. (I’d have wished for him to get run over or something, but I secretly like him enough to not wish something so terrible. For anyone, for that matter.)
- So after cleaning up the tea from my table, I decided to continue working and nibbled on the almond biscotti I’d picked up as well. It tasted like cardboard, adorned with wood shavings that came off as crumbs and made you believe you were eating biscotti. I shouldn’t have cheated on Starbucks!
- The boy is being too nice, and I have not found a reason to get mad and claim “make-up” presents. I smell something fishy. I’ll accuse him of hooking up with other girls (and therefore being so nice to me), throw a tantrum and get myself that free air ticket! ;)
- I find myself using the term “In my younger days…” more and more often these days, which is freakin scary because I am not THAT old. I have got to stop!
- Also, I find myself cursing a lot more these days as compared to my younger days (there I go again! ) But I guess it’s a good enough stress release, much better than smoking.
- Speaking of which…(ahem, I shall not say anything for the purpose of self preservation)
- My favorite people at work are going to be moving on soon, leaving me to organize all the partying and random Friday drinks. Tsk Tsk
- I bit my right hand nails and I am not very pleased with myself. Atleast I kept 50% of the new years resolution for almost 9 months. (I didn’t bite the left hand. Its weird, don’t ask.)
- I have consumed no alcohol in the past 10 days although on several occasions I craved it desperately. This is unacceptable and some catching up needs to be done this weekend. Most probably by trashing Pappy’s place as we “warm” it.

It’s just midnight and I am finding it difficult to stay awake. In my younger days…

Sands of Time

“I think I’m too old to find solace at *home* and too young for them to understand my need to be elsewhere. “

The little one left after 4 months of “summer,” and both of my parents are understandably very upset. I am trying to inject as much life as I can in the house, but it’s not easy. I think I saw a hint of relief on their faces when we finally got the call that he has landed after his 30 hr journey.

I have finally managed to renew my driving license and I’ve been let loose on the roads. Well, not quite. I am only allowed to drive when the Dad or the driver is present in the car (although it beats me how they’ll be able to do anything considering I have my hands on the wheel and feet on the accelerator!) Driving is my favorite type of high! It beats that JD Coke anyday! I absolutely love driving. I can’t wait to have a car of my own. Oh, we dream…that’s all we can do sometimes.

N wait for Saturday. Because I will be hanging out with some very special people. A mini reunion of sorts, if you will. I’ll be meeting my high school friends and exchanging stories of success and ahem, affairs. We love much.

We also love much, this toll free life, which unfortunately will end in about 2 days time. Sigh.

And sigh.

Boys will be boys...

This one’s to you…

You, who I think of every time the word patience is mentioned. For someone so measured in every aspect, your endless patience is remarkable. You, who has many layers that you had forgotten yourself. Discovering them is a delight, so [you] better admit it.

N

You, who I spoke till 4 am. On grad nite. Of stars and such. Who made the going our own ways so real. So much so that you’ve reached too far to be in touch with. You, who is now a blurred face. Who realized all that I was, only when it was too late.

N

You, who’s wisdom and good nature has a way of making me believe that it will indeed be all okay. You define simplicity and I have to blink from time to time to make sure you’re real. You, are my belief.

N

You, who showed me how strong I can be, through no merit of your own, but your flaws. Your immaturity and XL sized ego (again, with no merits), taught me that I do draw that line, and say no.

N

You, who leave a sting in the eye from the whiff of a familiar scent. You who re-defined romance, and then again. Also, who brings out the vanity in me, where I can never whole-heartedly wish the best for you. I will you well, but not the best. I save that for myself because I am just THAT selfish about certain things.

N

You, who taught me how to be selfish by saying I was too selfless. You, who brought out my extremes, which is great because now I have a self spectrum.

N

You, who confuse me, amuse me, alienate me and then confuse me again. You, I can’t explain, because you don’t follow sense. Which is well, because if you did, it’ll be ugly.

N

You, who let me be ugly and not pay a price for it. You, who I let lead when I want to put my head down and close my eyes. I hope you know that I could run it just as well. It means the world to me.

N

You, who has made us child play. Masked so I don’t see through, you stay safe, thankfully. You may become the habit that one can’t kick because its familiarity is comforting. Something temporary about you, which I am to find in due time I assume.

N

You, who put an arm around me and rocked me. A gentle hush when I sobbed. You suddenly transformed in front of me into someone new, someone unexpected. You, who I’ll miss if I sobbed, ever.

N

You, who play me like a moody child. You, who have issues and shoes too big. You, who should think a bit because I allow only so much brattiness before I take charge. You, should be worried.

N

You, my first taste of heartbreak. You from the “ falling in like” days. When we were invisible to each other and yet so close. You, who marvel at my “success” now and tell me I was meant for big things. You, who I smile fondly about when I see young children. You always made me smile, then and now.

N

You, who were the first in something. The operative word being “were.”

N

You, and our metamorphosis. Need I say more? You are the assurance that there are selfless people exist in the world and not everyone has a hidden agenda.

N

You, who made me set the bar higher for myself. To be like you.

A lot said, for a few of you.

You, the boys/men from my life.

Hey there Delilah

So this Sunday, I'll be at the beach. Not in Singapore, not doing laundry, not studying, but at the beach!!! (Fingers crossed that it doesnt rain)

Somtam, cotton candy, foot reflexology, easy chairs, banana boats, tender coconut (no alcohol, tsk tsk) and a good life! Finally, the fact that I'll be on a holiday has sunk in. I do have to wake up to dial in a conf. call on Tuesday morning, but I'll pardon that cuz I'm just THAT happy today!

Tomorrow is the big company dinner and my team does not have costumes yet! Which is an excellent excuse to leave work at 530 and go shopping! (I want a hot white dress, but I doubt I'll get a chance to...sigh...)

I have been easily annoyed by many people this week - the first being my cheapstake landlord who refuses to fix a leak in my room. It's freakin pouring everyday and he comes n does something to it, which makes NO difference! I think he jus licks off the water n pretends the leak is fixed!!! #$%^&*(@#$%^&*(

I am also highly annoyed at people who are "mature adults" but have the responsibility of a 3 year old. For God's sake, you may be brats of your world's (and I am, of mine) but don't expect me to put up with you, just like I don't expect you to put up with mine. Everyone around you picks up after themselves and takes responsibility for things they do - and as common courtsey to each other. So, please DO THE SAME. Unless you're paying me to do so for you!

Seasonal people irritate me. Here one day, gone the next. n then back. Because hey, I wasn't born to suit your conveniences. and nothing blossoms when you arrive.

Blargh!

So ahem. Anyhoo.

Tonight is the big shopping night. Tomorrow is the big dinner. Friday is the big play. I think I forgot minor things like - packing, buying stuff for family, oh n work. Apparently it makes a difference if 1 out of a 1,000 people go on a holiday!

I must also strategize for my "Improve Dad Revolution" - which entails joining forces with the mother and bro in nagging him endlessly until he gives in and gets a life! Beyond his job, meals, and TV.

I also need to master the art of tuning out the mother when she starts her MBA and/or marriage monologue!

With lots to do and lots to plan for, I should get back to looking busy and pretending to work!

Just a Little Bit

It’s a beautiful day outside and for once, I have nowhere to be at, and nothing urgent to do. It’s a refreshing feeling – to not have my mind racing miles ahead of self.

I’ll start studying shortly, and strangely enough, I find that very de-stressing. There is no boss breathing down my neck and I am in control for a change.

This time next week, I’d be home and napping. (Home = Thailand) I’ve taken a week off from work and am going home for 9 days…I should be excited about it but for some reason it feels like a forced holiday. I’m not mentally prepared to take a long break yet, I guess. Or maybe I just haven’t had the time to absorb it’s implications. There is tons of work to be settled before heading off, sigh, and sigh.

At the risk of sounding like an awful person, I’ll say that I feel like thr’s an OD of family time. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and everything. But I think I can use some quiet time instead. Oh well. I do intend on spending a couple of days at the spa! I got a cheap-ass ticket on a budget carrier so that I can splurge on other things openly!

WOMAD was awesome on Friday. I loved the Scottish band, Shooglenifty! The music they created was to die for! The energy on the stage as well as in the crowd was enough to get me dancing non stop and stay on music high! The intensity on the faces of band members if something I love about live music! ADF was LOUD, as expected. But I didn’t love it as much as I thought I would. Maybe its because I was too in love with the long haired dreamy looking Scottish boy playing an instrument (who’s name I don’t know!) The finale party bored me within minutes and I finally dragged everyone home! (Sorry Narenoo!)

I clicked that pic on Saturday sometime close to mid-night while taking a lone walk on the beach. Soon after, I was followed by 2 creepy looking Indian men and I hurried home (after mouthing a few obscenities!) They had the nerve to wait outside the 7/11 while I went to grab a drink n hopefully get rid of them! Mofos!

Back to Sunday – when thankfully it’s not raining. And I’m gonna retire to my notes and the TV in the background, and study Fundamentals of Business Economics! N Soon, a cup of Earl Gray!

4 AM

It’s 3:45 AM on a Friday night/Saturday morning and although I should be tucked in bed, sleep seems far far away. This newly developed insomnia is beginning to worry me now. One or two days is acceptable but 4 days of tossing and turning in bed is not quite normal.

It’s been quite a Friday night. The original plan of meeting D for a drink or two at Harry’s and then off home – followed by Rush Hour 3 later at night, was abandoned as the Harry’s gathering increased to 7 people and extended well into, and almost past dinner time. After much contemplation, the movie was over-written by a quick drunk dinner and more drinking at FC. House parties rock – oh so totally! The “crowd” is great, the “DJ” is friendly, and the “dance floor” always has place. The free flow of alcohol and the bed to sprawl on only adds to the fun for a Friday night. Lots of drinking games that revealed interesting facts, dancing and a wine glass that kept filling itself up ( n I don’t even like wine!) kept the party going till 3. I figured I might as well get home and get some sleep so I don’t waste the entire Saturday in bed!

N here I am, wide awake.

The boy has touched down at London, which makes all of this more real than it was when he was in India. This hit me in the middle of the party, with a glass in one hand, and a phone in the other. I was not prepared for the wave that hit me after, but was thankfully caught by well meaning friends. And then I was okay. I am okay, yes.

So that was that.

It’s now 4 am and I still can’t sleep. Damn it.

Gin & Juice

The birthday came and lasted 3 days! :D Started off with late night calls from the boy, the family, the relatives n present from the housemate! A great cake and celebration at the office, dinner n drinks with great friends, cake – flowers – chocolates from the boy (special thanks to the “delivery man”), and awesome presents. Lots of wishes from friends across the world (partial thanks to Facebook) and finally a birthday lunch with the office friends today (all paid for by the boss).

I haven’t stopped grinning all this while and feel sooooooooooo loved!

EPL has started and I’ll finally be watching soccer again! I miss watching the late night matches over summer (Euro 2004 was it?) when the nights were long, getting high was fun, and life was simpler. When mother did not lecture about sleeping early, the bro fixed the mid night snack, and soccer players were cute (and talented, I’m sure)! Oh fun days!

So long distance with the boy sucks, especially since we’d recently been spending a lot of time together. Life’s not fallen apart but IMs limit conversation, as does family. I miss.

Speaking of IM’s – it’s strange that I have these detailed, intimate conversations with certain people where we talk about everything, from the weather to troubles/relationships/plans. And then we meet in person, and we hardly have anything to say to each other. Suddenly conversations are stunted and a half-baked joke are forced to bridge the silences. Or better yet, in big groups, we almost *avoid* any direct conversation? What with the dry pleasantries and quickly looking away.

Why can’t it flow as easily as it does over IM? Is facing people so difficult now that we prefer the veil of text than voices?

Birthdays n such...

There's so much I want to say, but I'm too exhausted n delirious n far too happy to pen it down...

I just had a kick-ass birthday and I can't stop smiling...lovely company, good food, and great presents! I feel extremely luffed (loved) thanks to all the wonderful people who came down and I'm gonna go to bed holding on to this feeling!

Thanks All!

You never walk alone...

The boy has left – moved on to (hopefully) a better place and to better things. The magnitude of the change that has happened has not hit me yet - I just went numb, and then okay. I hate people who go away! The farewell was complete with many promises and strict instructions. (You can NOT do a lot of things, but I can. Because, well, I'm a girl! ) I'm keeping my fingers crossed and planning the December trip.
I slept a lot and woke up with this strange restlessness. I want to fast forward 3-4 years in life to see what it's going to be like. I guess because nothing major and life changing is happening to me personally (like going to b school, changing jobs, moving cities), I just keep imaging what it'd be like if any of these things happened. And the problem with imagination is that there are just SO MANY OPTIONS. I get carried away with these possibilities and weave entire worlds around them, only to realize that I have no idea which one would eventually be mine. Now, I am not a very patient person and therefore the restlessness to know ahead of time. Crystal ball, anyone?
Friday happened, and it over. Boss returned from his holiday, a lot less sour, and back to making politically incorrect remarks about cleavages and other things! I’m both disturbed and relieved! My last few conversations with him were terse, and wanted me to quit my job! To celebrate this lack of grouchiness, JJ and I went and bought ourselves a pair of shoes each. And nutella waffles, in true Friday fashion!
All the plans for the day were scrapped and I found myself in Penny Black eating tons and tons of finger food for dinner and making “high” small talk with random colleagues. Eventually we turned to singing (we had the entire 2nd floor to ourselves and our home brewed band!!) I resisted every offer but finally gave in and …SANG! All of us did, and it was such great fun. My first time ever, singing in front of anyone! N no the mic did not break down! This Belgian hot shot and I tried to kick off the dance floor, but it didn’t quite work out. Once the “party” became boring, I headed off to settlers for a friend’s birthday and then home like a good child. Total alcohol consumption – 1 vodka cranberry. Barely vodka. Too much berry!
So, I’m doing okay I guess. The world hasn’t fallen apart and I’m not miserable. There is plenty to be done and no excuses left!

I am out of titles

The mother is gone. The brother is gone. The boy will soon be gone.

Don’t feel bad for me, because I have plans, big big plans to fill my time. And they are kick-ass plans, mind you!

Mom was here for two weeks and it was quite a ride. There were days when I loved having them here, and days when I stayed at office till late just so that I could have some quiet time and hear myself thing. As expected, there was the nagging – I eat unhealthy food, I am too fat and none of my clothes look nice on me, I should sleep earlier, I should not stay on the comp 24/7, I should wake up 10 mins early and do yoga, I should think seriously about my relationships and bring to her in 1 year, a boy who’d wanna tie the knot in 2-3 years time. So for 2 weeks I slept early, ate healthy and assured her that I know about the boy tree and when the time is right, I’ll go and pluck a ripe one and bring to her. She was amused, but reiterated herself, hoping I’d get the point. I laughed and repeated myself, hoping to do the same. I don’t know why we must discuss things that won’t happen for another 3-4 years at least. The MBA was mentioned on average once a day.

But it wasn’t all bad! It was great having her over…someone to open the door when you have had a long day at work and ask how your day was. Hot breakfast and a forced glass of milk, hot dinner, lots of catching up. She helped me manage the things in the house I hadn’t had a chance to and made it look much like home. She also cooked a superb lunch for 20 of my friends with the limited pots and pans in the house and didn’t complain for a second! Lots of shopping, lots of eating out, lots of spoiling the little brother.

I’m not a horrible horrible person who hates her family! I love them to bits! Just that I do crave my quiet time sometimes and it drives me up the wall when I cant have that for a whole two weeks. I am however, proud that I did not have a single argument with her. Technically. Okay, so the MBA and marriage talk doesn’t count.

2 weeks I lived every free hour for them
1.5 weeks now I’ll live the free hours for/with the boy.

After nearly a month of borrowed time, I’ll have some of my own.

Things to look forward to:

- Rakhi at home this year, in a month’s time!
- Training for the 10K run in October
- Training to improve time for the 10K run in Dec
- Trip to London in December! (yes, most probably the Australia trip would be changed to London trip. Reason: cuz Australia would be too hot, and might as well stay in Singapore instead of shelling out the cash for that weather. Yes, believe me, that’s the only reason! )
- Salsa (it’s about time!)
- CIMA (it’s about time too!!)

In order to curb my thinking right here, (before I enter the “you think too much” territory) I shall go and read Half of a Yellow Sun, which FYI, is an excellent book. You must all read it! Go now, go go!