Milk & Toast

***Post from Sunday Night***

I love little quirks in people – the small yet strange things that people do, for no particular reason, and are usually unique to particular individuals. I find them rather endearing and cute! For example, my dad has to comb his hair before going to bed. It’s another thing that he doesn’t have much of it left! Rosty can’t stand if it someone takes a bite from his burger and ruins its symmetry. Yes, the burger has to be eaten symmetrically – only God knows how! I absolutely hate it if someone squeezes the toothpaste out of the tube from the middle, leaving a huge dent in it! I mean how difficult is it – squeeze from the bottom!!! *okay, you get the idea* - so like I was saying, quirks are endearing. End of random thought.

Yet another Sunday night, full of determination and plans to 1. Wake up early; 2. Get to work on time; 3. Find the ten minutes in the morning to do yoga; 4. Be efficient on a Monday morning, refrain from whining/lamenting/procrastinating/bumming; 5. Stay focused; 6. Attain work-life balance. Blah blah blah

I just spoke to someone who’s been trying to attain work life balance for over 2 years now – and who’s in the same company. Looks like I have a long way to go…

The weekend’s been fun – too short, as always, but fun! Friday night was spent eating out, hanging out, and playing cards till the wee hours of the morning! Consequently, the Saturday started late in the afternoon, and was spent doing nothing fruitful! Not even laundry! The entire afternoon was spent lazing and chatting with one of the housemate’s friends who was visiting, and was leaving that day. After that, lazed more and watched an extremely dumb movie on DVD – My Super Ex-Girlfriend, or something along those lines. Not even worth the while on DVD! Gorged on Mexican food since I had the strongest craving for it, topped it up with some tequila, and called it a night! I’m getting too old, the nights are ending too early! I did however, flick a copy of The Tipping Point from Rosty’s office, and it’s a good read. Today I got up and in a burst of energy, cleaned the room, did laundry, and made a list of things to do. Then I got exhausted and had a long lunch with Blurry. During this long lunch, I was somehow convinced that I shouldn’t work on a Sunday and so headed out to Vivo City~ it’s a 10 minute ride from my place, and it actually feels like a mall! (I never enjoyed the malls in Singapore as much as the ones in Bkk! ) Watched The Departed, and loved it! Ohhhhhhh, it was twisted! A little too gory for my palette, but still worth the watch! Got home right after and out of guilt, did some work! *some* being the operative word here!

Now I should be ironing clothes for tomorrow morning, but I’m gonna read instead and eventually fall asleep! And wake up tomorrow morning, rush and curse myself for not ironing the night before. I’m used to it, thought. Some people just never learn!

Do you only wanna dance?

So I didn’t reward myself with the promised latte – even if I finished all the work before dropping dead asleep! I’m saving it for when I desperately need it. I woke up in a total daze – walking about the house, doing things out of habit, without being consciously aware of what they were and why.

It’s been a long day – and I’m too exhausted to do anything! Salsa was awesome, the high point of the week. The music, the energy & the freedom – one can’t wish for more, after a stress-packed day that robs your spirit otherwise. By the time I get home, every muscle in my body is sore – but I return with a huge smile on my face. A tired, but content one. Life feels a little less empty, and a lot more colorful with just one dance class.

Otherwise, I am a bit disillusioned. No wait, deranged. Okay, maybe just overwhelmed.

Whatever it is, I’m not going to figure out right now. I’m going to let this tired soul sleep – and kick some ass tomorrow!

Five is a four letter word

I’m extremely homesick suddenly. I don’t know why. My folks called, and I was preoccupied with work, so I hmm’d and uh huh’d during the entire conversation. 10 minutes later, I called them back and told them that I’m coming home for diwali. Alone in this place for 4 days, while my housemates are way, would turn me into a craze-ball. I do have to catch up on work though – but it can be carried home. It’ll give both them, and me, a reason to play with fireworks.

I never thought I was the type who’d miss festivals and vacations with the family, but the thought of the first big festival, when the family is split in 3 different parts of the world, makes my eyes well up. Either I’m turning into a softie or something’s seriously wrong with my hormones!

Its 11pm and I have no motivation to finish off the last bits of work before crashing! Which is probably why I’m writing this post instead!

It’s thanksgiving in Canada. Just a random fact.

My double wish list for Bangkok is taking shape; double because part I with the mother, and part II, without! Christmas shall come early this year! Or just a late birthday present to myself. Presents(s). Either way.

Plans for India are supposed to be taking shape, but I’ve been too busy to enquire about tickets. *reminder to self : book ticket!!!!* I can’t wait! I have to pack 3 years worth of catching up with a dozen people in 7 days. And cover 3-4 cities. AND attend a wedding that I’ve been waiting for, forever. AND call the remaining gazillion people I won’t get to meet. AND spend time with gramma. AND befriend the new additions to the family – kids, and the newly weds!

It’s good to have so much to look forward to!

Ahh I need motivation to finish the little things left!

Reward: grande hazelnut latte & blueberry muffin – guilt-free!

Snow on the Sahara

*Post written on Thursday night*

-----------------------------------------

I’m going to Bangkok at the end of the month! For a whole of 6 days, and I can’t wait!

Not because I get to go home, but also because I get to stay downtown, without family, and experience the city like a tourist! Why the big deal – because although I spent a major part of my life in Thailand, I was living with family, AND I was a high school kid, so age limit, parents, yadi yadi ya! But this time, it’ll be different. I’m going on a company off-site, but I’m flying in early, so that I can spend the weekend with my parents, and then spend the week with the team at a luxurious hotel, spoil myself silly with shopping, spas, partying, and have no curfews and no one to answer to! Yeh, I know I can do it here in Singapore too – but I’ve always wanted to check out Bangkok like a tourist. N I have a head start, since I’ve already seen the monuments, museums, and other touristy places, I can focus all my energy on shopping, eating, partying, massages, spas, and the like! *yay* I know I can use a holiday by the end of the month, thanks to the ever increasing work load!

Life seems to be in a good place, today. *touch wood* Hope I don’t jinx anything! Tomorrow’s Friday and I am booked all day at a new hire session – which means that a break from regular work! A deadline’s been extended due to this session, and I couldn’t have asked for more!

Sometimes, on good days, I do think that I’ve gotten lucky with most things! Not all, mind you, but most! It’s a good feeling – knowing that I have so much to be grateful for. I think it’s moments like these that replenish my tolerance and the ability to bite it down, when I’m about to lose it! *content smile*

I miss RIS friends today. Think its the talk of the upcoming trip!

The memories that never fail to make me smile. Time, work and distance have come in the way in keeping in touch with everyone – but they haven’t taken away the years I so fondly remember.

Why don't you slide?

I'm a Leo with a big ego, that doesn't allow me to admit my fears, insecurities, and troubles. Even on a semi – anonymous blog.

***Confession number 1***

(It's a start)

Living alone is not easy. *confession no. 2* - more on this later.

Im on a roll today!

I hate being judged. I've always been too sensitive for my own good – easily hurt by words, and judgments, even by those who don't matter much. Sometimes, you learn the hard way, and I guess I have. Countless hours and tears were wasted when they could've been spent on more worthwhile things. Staying optimistic though, at least I can say that it's helped me cultivate a sort of independence that will come in handy for the next few decades in my life.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that most of us have grown up and become so engaged in keeping it together day after day, that we find little time to gossip and/or judge others. Which is great, no DUH? When I say we, I refer to the circle of close friends and people who matter. At the same time, we have also become more self assured and can't give a damn about what the others say, because we know that no one else is qualified enough to pass a verdict on the condition of our hearts, our actions, and our characters.

Then there are the people I wonder about, and almost feel sorry for. Those who lead a life so empty, that they have both the time and the energy, to scrutinize others' life, and make sweeping statements about it. Of course, I have no way of knowing that their lives are empty! Perhaps, they're really good at time management and can juggle their hours well, or perhaps their priorities are different. Either way, who am I to judge? *snickers*

So I sound a little condescending! So?

To put it in simple words – I am angry.
I had a little menagerie – assorted, sparse, but carefully selected.
I never prevented anyone from partaking in the joys it brought. I was naïve enough to open every one of these delicately wrapped pieces, and let them be seen. In the folds, at least they were protected – sealed fore safety. How was I to shield them, once opened? Why didn't I think? Who was going to, if not me? They were mine, after all.

I am angry because some of these handpicked pieces of life – have been reduced to shards that I cannot identify.