Tuesday, April 17

Hella Good

It’s amazing how with just a few strokes of keys, one can shrug off so much. Neat and measured deletions – and just like that, it’s gone. Sometimes, you gotta love the computer for keeping things so impersonal. If you hit the right ones, you never run the risk of stumbling upon what you’d hidden away from yourself.

I’m reading Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar, so pardon me if I sound like I’m far away. I still remember her poetry from high school days – it was too disturbing for our impressionable minds, and to date, I remember Tulips, Lazy Lazarus, Daddy, etc. and how every analysis somehow lead to her depression and suicide attempts. Disturbing, but beautiful. Sigh. This is her only novel, and is just as remarkable as her poems. Unfortunately, it leaves one almost devoid of life, much like the protagonist.

Plenty of changes taking place these days; my good friend and team mate from work is serving the last 2 weeks of his notice, before he leaves to pursue his real interest - writing. My manager, is also serving her notice. She will leave the company in about 3 weeks. Her extensive knowledge of the business and 10 years of experience is something I doubt many people can match. Neither can they match her caring and understanding nature, and her willingness to indulge in our silly games, drinking, and partying, and gossiping. The boss told me that I’ll be fine, and that after a few years, people moving on and leaving would stop bothering me and I wouldn’t get so attached. I hope he’s right – because you know how much I hate people leaving.

Whenever I reach a phase in my life, when things should be stable and straight forward, and I start to think – oh hey, maybe I can get a breather, new uncertainties haunt me. It’s a pattern, which repeats itself such as the chaos is about to clear. Maybe I should stop wishing for simplicity – maybe if I can convince myself that it’ll just be too dull, I will stop wanting it so bad.

Told the boss I need time off, and have extended the Labor Day holiday into a long weekend. Plans are to laze by the beach, pamper self at the spa, recharge by the water sports, and get a change of scene. Bookings have been confirmed, and all that remains is the count down. I also plan to forget my hand phone at home.

Coming Sunday, I fly off to Manila! When I’d gone down to the Philippines Embassy, something reminded me of my teenage crush. A Filipino guy - cute, popular, friendly, and funny – oh how I adored AB! Do people still have crushes these days? It seems so passé!

On a more cheerful note, an hour ago, I spoke to the mother about coming home later in May, when the bro will be home too. I also told her that I’m booking us into a full day spa treatment, which she’ll just have to come for, no questions asked, as we leave the men behind at home. I love how I can order everyone around at home!

Seeing as I have plenty to look forward to, things aren’t looking too bad! It’s the damn book, I tell you.

3 comments:

sherene said...

hope you had a good dinner outing with the team :)

iz said...

I love The bell jar. And LADY lazarus. Dang these typos!

TS said...

Its the book. And you.