the unspoken ones

Come to a stand-still, please.

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

There are some clichés that I like to believe…such as time heals every wound, and que sera sera. I guess when you have nothing else that can reconcile the conflicts within you, and the cynicism just aggravates the hurt further, these time - honored clichés do provide a sense of comfort, hope, if you will.

Sometimes, I wonder if things are moving too fast, or too slow. Am I planning too far ahead – or not enough? Should I be prepared for the worst or take it as it comes? How do you know when to stop?

Stop working; thinking; asking; giving; expecting; wanting; believing; wishing; understanding; denying; accepting; tolerating; escaping; running; waiting; questioning; searching; answering.

When do you let go of the reins and play it by the ear? When do you let go of the reins and stand up to feel the wind against your face?

I wonder, I do.

Beneath the Wheel - Chapter 5

"When a tree is polled, it will sprout new shoots near its roots. A soul that is ruined in the bud will frequently return to the springtime of its beginnings and its promise-filled childhood, as though it could discover new hopes there and retie the broken threads of life. The shoots grow rapidly and eagerly, but it is only a sham life that will never be a genuine tree." - Beneath the Wheel, Herman Hesse.

Don't know how to describe how this makes me feel. Glad that someone put it down in words so well, or sad, that it's so true.

When you're swimming with your boots on...

It’s not easy to love a job when it sees you up till 1 am working, talking to people on the other side of the globe, spending 3 hrs AFTER leaving office, on the phone, ABOUT work, and haunts you in your dreams too. But I love it anyway. So that was NOT me complaining. So that’s how the week has been so far, and its not over. Tonight another couple of hrs on the phone. Why does the Earth have to be round with daylight on one half and night on the other!

Other than work, nothing much’s been up. The weekend promises to keep me out yet again, with birthdays and other plans committed to last week! I think the world needs a paradigm shift, with 8 day weeks, and 3 day weekends : 2 for socializing and other chores, and one extra for yourself, your things and sleeping!

Lunch has been uneventful, except for the old man in the elevator who wouldn’t stop checking himself out in the mirror, abs, ass n all, and hiding his balding head beneath immaculately combed hair. ‘Fess up, we all do it, but a little discreetly, unless we are the only ones in. But this was far too obvious for me to hide my amused expression, and as far as I could tell, the three other people in the elevator and I, were not invisible.

I’m generally in high spirits, relative to the past two days…for no particular reason. Perhaps its because of the contents of the little bag on my desk ..containing treasures of tropical candy, choc filled marshmallows, éclairs, mints, tic tacs, etc! *sheepish grin* Come on, 10 – 12 hrs sitting in one seat, one needs high amounts of sugar in their blood stream! At least I do! More so than caffeine.

Anyways, I better get back to it…so I can get outta here before its dark outside, just to remember what the world looks like in the evening.

*pops those mints n gets busy*

Like you're a problem girl

I’m back after a holiday that was far too short and leaves much to be desired. Sleep was abundant, shopping was minimal (not by choice), and socializing was completely neglected. Had one of those rare moments when the phone was ringing and I let it…without answering it. The feeling of being disconnected was limiting at first, and then liberating. All in all, a good break at home that ended too soon.

The little one leaves for college in a few days, a long 32 hr journey ahead of him. *shudders* Oh well! Now I can start planning my vacation to the other side of the world and save for it! Resolution no. 15437, one of the many that I make every time, on the flight back from home, and promise to myself that this time I’m gonna pull it together. These resolutions range from sleeping on time, to eating healthy, to taking up that postponed salsa class, to stop biting my nails. The last one seems almost impossible! I’ve tried everything. Any suggestions?

I was only gone a day, but judging from the work that’s piled up, it seems like I have a lifetime’s worth to catch up. Okay, this was the last of me complaining, I promise. Resolution no. 15438. *giggles*

I have managed to keep up with some of my resolutions – I did wake up early, I did take the bus to work (as opposed to the cab) and I did eat healthy and early. Or at least, relatively. I’m proud. Tomorrow I’ll try to find the 10 mins in the morning for the few yoga exercises that my mom’s been trying to make me do forever. I know I should, but tell my sleepy self that. I must say that my sleepy self is extremely cranky and unreasonable during the wee hours in the morning. I plead innocence!

Its middle of the week and I don’t feel like working at all! n it is a Wednesday night after all! *resist temptation; must work to come to work tomorrow on time, must take bus, must not be hungover*

I love my team at work! Its small, which means I can get everyone nice souveniers and still not be broke! ;) Picked up some cute aromatherapy thingis with gels, carved candles, incense and the like...!

Tonight I shall sleep early…this incessant yawning at work reflects poorly! Pandora is misbehaving; playing very distasteful music! N I am wasting too much time skipping songs! Highly inefficient at this hour…and not looking fwd to the string of meetings in the next few hours. Sigh and Sigh.

The mom has asked some questions that I cannot answer. I remember saying “Ma, you don’t get it;” I understand her questions, but I don’t think she understands my answers. It went well though…surprisingly no arguments. She did say that she might not understand it all, I live in a different world, far from what her world as a young lady was. I’m glad that she’s left it up to me to handle it though.

I need a night out with the ladies. Fine, the men can come too! Margaritas, music, the right people and the right high.

Even a slight hangover won’t hurt. Slight. *ahem ahem*