Give me back my point of view

I have been deeply disturbed ever since I rediscovered a live heart within myself. Apart from beating annoyingly and pumping blood everywhere, it does a lot more. Apparently it makes me cry.

What a jerk! Its like an extremely dominating boyfriend who dictates the terms of your life, when to laugh, when to cry, when to study, when to stone, when to write, when to make a phone call, when to eat, etc. etc. I swear, it’s a tyrant! An attention seeking control freak, that’s what it is!

Oh how I wish sometimes that the mind was strong enough to revolt against the heart, and put it right where it belongs!

Why can’t it just pump blood and leave it at that. I mean that’s what its there for. Why does it have to go around poking its nose into other business and having an opinion on everything, without having any authority on the given subject?

I had been warned about its controlling nature, and so I had it disciplined and very strictly trained all this while. It was such a well behaved heart, so docile and cooperative that I used to sometimes forget it existed, snuggled up in a corner somewhere.

Impressed by its good conduct, I decided to soften up a little, and loosened up my grip. You know, take off the leash and let it wander around. Wish I’d known better. It has now made its presence loud and clear in my life, and taken over far more than I’d ever want it to. So all this time that it was being that meek little kid in the corner of the class, it was actually plotting all this! And now it has so much power that I’m afraid it might not be able to handle it, and make stupid decisions.

Sigh.

I shouldn’t have loosened up on it. My bad.

Enslaved by its moods and colors, I wonder what each day would be like.

And no, this uncertainty is not that exciting.