.Courtsy.Curtness.

It's not very difficult to get along with people. Most people. But it is getting increasingly difficult to like them.

A day. in . Bullets

Random insignificant events and thoughts that I feel like recalling because, well, for no reason other than this urge to write something, anything, to distract self from working.

- They made me the best Earl Gray at Spinneli today with the right amount of froth and sugar and I knocked it over my desk and spilled the ENTIRE cup of warm happiness on a crappy morning. Strangely, not a single drop on my clothes, laptop, phone and the entire menagerie that is my table.
- This person, let’s call him, Xonifer, is making my life miserable. Xonifer because, it sounds more fun than “Person X.” I wish Xonifer is abducted by aliens. (I’d have wished for him to get run over or something, but I secretly like him enough to not wish something so terrible. For anyone, for that matter.)
- So after cleaning up the tea from my table, I decided to continue working and nibbled on the almond biscotti I’d picked up as well. It tasted like cardboard, adorned with wood shavings that came off as crumbs and made you believe you were eating biscotti. I shouldn’t have cheated on Starbucks!
- The boy is being too nice, and I have not found a reason to get mad and claim “make-up” presents. I smell something fishy. I’ll accuse him of hooking up with other girls (and therefore being so nice to me), throw a tantrum and get myself that free air ticket! ;)
- I find myself using the term “In my younger days…” more and more often these days, which is freakin scary because I am not THAT old. I have got to stop!
- Also, I find myself cursing a lot more these days as compared to my younger days (there I go again! ) But I guess it’s a good enough stress release, much better than smoking.
- Speaking of which…(ahem, I shall not say anything for the purpose of self preservation)
- My favorite people at work are going to be moving on soon, leaving me to organize all the partying and random Friday drinks. Tsk Tsk
- I bit my right hand nails and I am not very pleased with myself. Atleast I kept 50% of the new years resolution for almost 9 months. (I didn’t bite the left hand. Its weird, don’t ask.)
- I have consumed no alcohol in the past 10 days although on several occasions I craved it desperately. This is unacceptable and some catching up needs to be done this weekend. Most probably by trashing Pappy’s place as we “warm” it.

It’s just midnight and I am finding it difficult to stay awake. In my younger days…

Sands of Time

“I think I’m too old to find solace at *home* and too young for them to understand my need to be elsewhere. “

The little one left after 4 months of “summer,” and both of my parents are understandably very upset. I am trying to inject as much life as I can in the house, but it’s not easy. I think I saw a hint of relief on their faces when we finally got the call that he has landed after his 30 hr journey.

I have finally managed to renew my driving license and I’ve been let loose on the roads. Well, not quite. I am only allowed to drive when the Dad or the driver is present in the car (although it beats me how they’ll be able to do anything considering I have my hands on the wheel and feet on the accelerator!) Driving is my favorite type of high! It beats that JD Coke anyday! I absolutely love driving. I can’t wait to have a car of my own. Oh, we dream…that’s all we can do sometimes.

N wait for Saturday. Because I will be hanging out with some very special people. A mini reunion of sorts, if you will. I’ll be meeting my high school friends and exchanging stories of success and ahem, affairs. We love much.

We also love much, this toll free life, which unfortunately will end in about 2 days time. Sigh.

And sigh.

Boys will be boys...

This one’s to you…

You, who I think of every time the word patience is mentioned. For someone so measured in every aspect, your endless patience is remarkable. You, who has many layers that you had forgotten yourself. Discovering them is a delight, so [you] better admit it.

N

You, who I spoke till 4 am. On grad nite. Of stars and such. Who made the going our own ways so real. So much so that you’ve reached too far to be in touch with. You, who is now a blurred face. Who realized all that I was, only when it was too late.

N

You, who’s wisdom and good nature has a way of making me believe that it will indeed be all okay. You define simplicity and I have to blink from time to time to make sure you’re real. You, are my belief.

N

You, who showed me how strong I can be, through no merit of your own, but your flaws. Your immaturity and XL sized ego (again, with no merits), taught me that I do draw that line, and say no.

N

You, who leave a sting in the eye from the whiff of a familiar scent. You who re-defined romance, and then again. Also, who brings out the vanity in me, where I can never whole-heartedly wish the best for you. I will you well, but not the best. I save that for myself because I am just THAT selfish about certain things.

N

You, who taught me how to be selfish by saying I was too selfless. You, who brought out my extremes, which is great because now I have a self spectrum.

N

You, who confuse me, amuse me, alienate me and then confuse me again. You, I can’t explain, because you don’t follow sense. Which is well, because if you did, it’ll be ugly.

N

You, who let me be ugly and not pay a price for it. You, who I let lead when I want to put my head down and close my eyes. I hope you know that I could run it just as well. It means the world to me.

N

You, who has made us child play. Masked so I don’t see through, you stay safe, thankfully. You may become the habit that one can’t kick because its familiarity is comforting. Something temporary about you, which I am to find in due time I assume.

N

You, who put an arm around me and rocked me. A gentle hush when I sobbed. You suddenly transformed in front of me into someone new, someone unexpected. You, who I’ll miss if I sobbed, ever.

N

You, who play me like a moody child. You, who have issues and shoes too big. You, who should think a bit because I allow only so much brattiness before I take charge. You, should be worried.

N

You, my first taste of heartbreak. You from the “ falling in like” days. When we were invisible to each other and yet so close. You, who marvel at my “success” now and tell me I was meant for big things. You, who I smile fondly about when I see young children. You always made me smile, then and now.

N

You, who were the first in something. The operative word being “were.”

N

You, and our metamorphosis. Need I say more? You are the assurance that there are selfless people exist in the world and not everyone has a hidden agenda.

N

You, who made me set the bar higher for myself. To be like you.

A lot said, for a few of you.

You, the boys/men from my life.